I have started a new job and left my old one. I won't tell you of the details of either. How and where I earn my coin are by the by. The tasks I engage in, the people I work with, the orgainisation I am associated with - these things are inconsequential.

I am writing this today to talk about the totally sweet sensor taps my new work place has.

Using a bathroom of the future has opened my world. I am an improved and streamlined hands-free being now. I no longer mash my dirty digits haphazardly against surfaces in order to procure change in my surroundings. Merely an ethereal wave and I command the elements. It's neat.

It does make me, however, a little misty-eyed when I reminisce about my old work bathroom. It had doors that shook the entire cubicle structure when I closed them, a leaking single tap, and the paper dispensers were a little dysfunctional but one of my colleagues had taken in upon herself to lend a "woman's touch" to the room. Fake flowers, scented candles, fluffy pink towels, and bath bombs (for Christ's sake) were scattered about the utilitarian tiles for the enjoyment of others. God bless her, she was an idiot.

There was also a delightfully passive aggressive note on the back of every door entitled "Bathroom Etiquette". Apparently some ladies couldn't keep it in the bowl so protocol was outlined in the notice and colleagues were implored to follow suit. The "etiquette" was less of a June Dally-Watkins affair and more of a "keep it in the loo" affair but I was always tempted to add a few underneath like "Always say please and thank you to the toilet" and "A lady never poos with her mouth open".