Things I did when I was little that made me a bit of a dickhead

A few forgotten bits and pieces came to me this morning; floated to the top of my murky, trashy mind-river. Once refuse of memory that may very well have been lost forever, these elements of my childhood identity came to the fore of my mind without warning. Please allow me to share them with you.

1. Some people's mums and dads, mums and dads that wore suits and worked further afield than Penrith, were "business men" and "business women". This occurred to me watching the suits get onto my bus this morning. As a child, some of my friend's parents had tangible jobs. They were teachers, or builders, or gardeners, or nurses, but if they were something slightly obscure to the 5 year-old mind like an accountant or marketing liaison, or human resources manager, they were a business man or woman which, it should be noted, was a lot less impressive than my friend Christie's dad who painted houses for a living. Being a business man didn't hold much sway with me.

2. I was fucking mad for tangrams. Tangrams are a set of Chinese puzzle pieces that you could make a fish or a rabbit or a tree out of, an we were occasionally allowed to play with them in maths if we had done all our other work. After the dreary division was over and done with we couldn't WAIT to get the fucking tangrams out and shuffle them into something barely recognisable as an elephant or a bird. Fights would occasionally brake out over the tangrams. Tangrams were the most exciting thing to us in school.